There are a few things that really irk me: bad driving, Paris Hilton, mean people, and Valentine’s Day.
Not that I have any issue with people having fun with it and getting romantic, that’s fine, but the impact that one little day has on the otherwise-intelligent-public is ridiculously annoying.
Valentine’s day is based on an old historical event that has been kidnapped by Hallmark Cards in an attempt to cash in on our emotions. That’s fine. Smart! Brilliant marketing! Whoever came up with that bad boy deserves a raise. The boys from Mad Men would go bananas. Can’t blame Hallmark. They’re in it to make money and they have. Good for them. However, it’s the meaning that we have attached to this commercially-driven day that gets stuck in my craw. Who’d have thought that one little 24-hour window, a day like any other, could do so much damage to the lives and self-worth of so many decent and hard working people? Baffling.
I suspect it goes back to caveman days when it made sense for women cavemen to have a dedicated neandethal to watch over their safety so they didn’t get eaten by wild beasts, but somehow it has become ‘normal’ to be in a relationship and ‘abnormal’ to not be in one. I often get the question from friends, “are you seeing anyone?”, and if/when I say no, they give me a saddened, slightly condescending look that says ‘oh, I’m sorry’ like I’ve got 3 months to live. What are you sorry about? That I am enjoying my own company? That I can fart under the covers without having to worry that it isn’t lady-like? That I can do what I want when I want? Sheesh. Gimme a break.
Somewhere in the past, history turned on us. It came up with the idea that a single woman was a bad thing and that it equated to being lonely and defective. I couldn’t disagree more. Woman have been lulled into this idea that they aren’t complete or valid unless they are in a relationship. What a load of shit.
I am single. I love it. Good stuff. I do what I want when I want. I’m not lonely. Social media? Jeez, I need to GET AWAY sometimes form all the social in my life. If I’m feeling a little solitary I go hang out with friends, volunteer (proven fact: you cannot feel lonely doing service to others…that includes animals), get on the phone, go where ppl are….options are endless. I also have a fantastic vibrator so that angle is covered. Don’t blush gals, it’s natural, get yerself a battery-operated-boyfriend. A good one. Spend money on it. Worth every penny.
And this whole you’re-not-complete-unless-you-are-in-a relationship-shit is false and destructive. We are whole people just as we are. I personally believe we need to be ok with ourselves first anyway before we get involved with someone else. I gotta be ok with me. And I am. My validity doesn’t come from who I hold hands with, it comes from who I am without anyone else. I do a trip to Mexico every year by myself and I adore it. I meet ppl, travel around a bit, have lovely dinners…etc. Now, that is not for everyone, but to think that you are not complete without a partner or that you have to do everything with someone to make it meaningful is nonsense. Ask where you got that point of view. Is it real?
I’m at my fave little restaurant around the corner from my house having a glass of wine and a nice meal, and learning my lines for an audition. Lovely. Today I am single and I love it and I’m sure that when the situation is right I will get into a relationship at some point. That will be fun, too. But I’m not counting the days. I enjoy my single life. I won’t buy into the societal hype. It’s my life. There is no rulebook written. Life is an unknown path and I going to roll with it.
How about you?