Christmas!

Christmas. Hard to believe that it is a day away. I just got back from Mexico late last night so there has been no real build up for me. Spent a week drinking margaritas on a beach and now we are a day away. I used to get hung up on Christmas. Ohmygawd the drama! I think that starts when you are a kid. If you had a great childhood at Christmas, your adult time matched it. If you had stress as a kid, that matched it, too. I had both so it got a bit ‘sliding doors’ for me later. I found a way that works for me: expect nothing, make it another day, and don’t freak on my family.

I used to try and match the tv commercials: do up a tree, get everybody tons of useless stuff, dress up the cat and put these massive expectations on the holidays. I learned that THAT was my foible. The ‘expectation’. I thought if the day matched the movies and all the shit that the media spewed out there, everything would be perfect. Then when it wasn’t, I would blame myself, or my mum, or my dad, or the weather, or the wine, etc…

In my 44 years I have learned that Christmas is a day. A week. A time in space. The sun comes up it goes down. When you put this pressure on it to be ‘the best EVER’ you will always let yourself down. Perfect doesn’t exist. Moments exist. Often the fun and fulfilling ones come along when you least expect it and that is because you didn’t cram it with pressure and expectation.

Ever notice that the first time you did something was the best? Me and my buddies used to do this drunken-river-rafting trip every year. It was always fun but never as fun as the first year. Why? Because we had no expectations yet. My first trip to Mexico was the best ever. It’s never been matched. Why? Same reason. They say (someone does) that ‘expectation is the killer of all’. I get that. If you can live in the moment of things and just go with it, let it flow organically, you’ll be way better off. I used to expect my family to be perfect. They aren’t. Oh god, trust me, they are anything but, but if I look at the 25th as breaky at my mum’s with my hungover brother as a nice day instead of a perfect day, all is well.
This year, I am doing breaky downtown with my buddy Pam. Due to some weird circumstances, we are both without family on the 25th, and we are both cool with it (actually, a little thrilled, to be honest). We are doing brunch, with some expensive champagne, then a movie. Maybe The Hobbit. Maybe Les Miserables. And we are thrilled about our plans. Movie theatres are full of people like us on Christmas day: enjoying just another day without some weird pressure to hang with our dysfunctional families (and trust me babe, they are ALL dysfunctional in some way).

Here’s my point (and there always is one, right? ;)): no matter what you do this week or on the 25th, let it be what it is. Family driving you nuts? It’s ok. Yer not alone. Ha. Not by a long shot. Not having the perfect Mariah Carey Christmas? Then let go of your expectation and just dig the moment. Need a break from yer parents? Go to a movie and let go of the guilt. It’s just another day. Live in the moment and know that whatever you are feeling is fine and somewhere, someone is feeling exactly the same way. Ditto for New Years Eve. Even MORE so.

You can also leave me a message here. I’ll check in.

Merry Christmas gang. May 2013 be a wonderful year for us all.

X0

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15 Responses to Christmas!

  1. Stacey says:

    What a perfect way to live life! And that’s what I’ve been doing for a few years. I do what I do and don’t feel a need to explain or justify myself. And I’ve never been happier!!

    Whether you spend Tuesday with Bilbo and Smeagol or Javert and Valjean, I wish you a wonderfully Merry Christmas and a 2013 that is filled with much love and laughter. xoxoxo

  2. Carolyn White says:

    Merry Christmas, sweet, honest lady! I love reading your comments and look forward to more in the coming year. Have a great holiday, no matter how you celebrate it or whom with. I’ll be off to spend the day amongst my crazy, loveable,a nnoying family. And drinking my little brother’s wine. Gotta have the wine with the insanity.

  3. Brandy Strait says:

    Since having little ones under the age of 3 and my oldest 16, finding a balance has been a challenge. But what I have learned is I just have let things roll, even as I’m being jumped on while trying to type this on a iPad. I try not to have expectations, if my pies ,cookies, baklava, or my Greek cookies don’t come out or just burn, oh well. I’m not super woman although some people would like me to do everything, it just ain’t going to happen. In all honesty I really enjoy Christmas and all the food which I love to cook, whether it comes out or not people eat when they are hungry. I appear to be rambling on so it’s time for me to sign off. Happy Christmas to all.

  4. ickyemy says:

    My mother has been trying to get me to go to church with the family on Christmas Eve since July. I am not a Christian and don’t do the church thing, so this makes for some priceless holiday moments. For instance, after her most recent failed attempt to manipulate me into going, she told me that when God returns, rising from the east, to take all the Christians to heaven with him, I will be left to the tribulation. Merry Christmas! But all the bah humbuggery she can muster wont rob me of my love of Christmas. Lights. Trees. Music. Food. Gifts. Family. At least i have a big family that allows me to escape the soul sucking presence of my mother. We have some really fun traditions, white elephant gifts (i am bringing a talking bobble head chuck norris figure) and a pickle hunt that I think is rooted in German culture. I don’t have the problem of Christmas not living up to my expectations, but don’t get me started on New Years. Do you know how many new years eve parties I have been to where I was kissed by a hot guy at midnight? None. *sigh*
    Also, don’t set your expectations high for the Hobbit. I was quite disappointed.
    Merry Christmas!

  5. Judy says:

    Right there with yah girl. I do hope you have a great Christmas Day.

  6. annielicious14 says:

    I’be been staring at this screen for a good while wondering what to say…..right now my
    Obligations are beating down my expectations, and I just feel heavy. I’m positive you’ll understand that. Know what my “just another day” would be like? A good book, then a good movie, then a good meal, with me, myself and I. Have a wonderful 25th, and thank you for these moments of release. Hugs.

  7. Tracy Brzycki says:

    May your day bring you just as much joy as you bring all of us. Merry Christmas!

  8. Jake says:

    Everything you’ve said is true, and it’s a good way to look at things. Happy holidays to you, Sam, and I hope whichever movie you end up seeing, you enjoy it!

  9. Barbara M says:

    Have a great “day” on Tuesday. And every other day. Thank you for helping me to let go of the stress of not being able to make the “day” perfect. I would like it to be happy for all of us, but sometimes, it’s just all good.

  10. Have a very merry Christmas, Sam. Have a wonderful time 🙂 x

  11. elena says:

    Yes I agree that its those unexpected unplanned moments that are the ones least fraught with stress inducing tension, holidays or not. Have a fun relaxing come what may holiday!! love your blogs btw!

  12. Kim says:

    Glad to read this tonight. I’ve just not been feeling Christmas this year; I don’t think most of my family has either. We don’t get into the commercialism of it (not having a lot of $ makes that easy LOL), but for some reason I’m just not excited about tomorrow. So I’m gonna go to work tonight, come home in the morning and help with the last minute dinner prep., and maybe take a nap. 🙂
    I love seeing your thoughts on the various topics in your blogs. Thanks for sharing.
    Merry Christmas!

  13. risenshine22 says:

    Merry Christmas!! Actually I think Mariah Carey Christmases are boring! Ok, maybe not really hers, but I guess you know what I mean. I had a lot of almost perfect Christmases and New Year parties, but I can’t really remember them and they tend to blend into each other. On the other hand there are those where I walked miles in the snow just to get someone special a special present or the New Year’s eve with my kid in the hospital’s first care unit (we got realised around 10 pm, so we didn’t miss the fireworks, yeah!) – those I will never forget! Love and Hugs!

  14. Merry Christmas, no matter what you are doing and enjoy breaky and the movie with your friend. I am home with my two boys (kittens of 8 months old) and having a great day. My family are overseas and I get home often but not easy to make it at Christmas each year, flights are getting really expensive huh! I often visit friends out of town but this year I decided to stay home ‘alone’. But I am not alone, I have my heart full of love and am really enjoying the peace, the chance to eat what I want when I want it and watching a movie or two. I know people only cared when they said things like “but you can’t be at home on your own on Christmas Day” or “oh no I didn’t realise you would be alone” but believe me guys “it’s okay” lol. In fact, this may be the start of many a chilled out holiday on the 25th December. Love, peace and happiness to you and your loved ones xx

  15. jmount43 says:

    Hey Sam, I actually discovered you through your work on Supernatural and was glad to see that you have your own blog here on wordpress. I just wanted to take the time to tell you that I think you are a wonderful actress and from what I’ve seen here a pretty darn good writer. I hate sounding starstruck; so I will wish you a Happy New Year and the best of 2013. You have a new follower in me.

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