wild ride!


Back from Peru. HOLY S@%t! Good god, y’all, that was one hell of a trip. Couldn’t explain it, but I’ll try.

It was an Ayahusca retreat in the jungle, right? You drink the Ayahuasca vine and get all zooey and see your life. Yes, hallucinations, but it’s more than that. This vine is a smart cookie. It is an intuitive medicine (that is what the Shipibo tribe call it. Medicine. Not a drug and it’s not….again, too hard to explain). I was not totally prepared for the ‘trip’ that it takes you on. You lose all mental (and sometimes bodily) control. You hallucinate, see your past, meet dead relatives, etc….but more than anything it shows you where you are stuck in your life. If you’ve got trauma or negativity dragging you down, this medicine presents it to you while you are in this trance state, in a way that you deal with it and get the issue out of your system. See? Told you. Hard to explain without making it sound all airy-fairy and trippy. The best way to explain it is how someone explained it to me: these little trips you go on in your head, hit a re-set buttton in your brain. The things that bugged you in the past, no longer bug you. For example, if your mother drives you crazy and you have issues with her, once you do this retreat, you see your mother differently afterwards. Through images of the past and hallucinatory events you ‘deal with’ the issue and it changes for you. Does that make sense? Ya, you have to go and experience it to know what i’m talking about. But it is life changing. Subtle, but life changing. The Temple of the Way of Light (the organization that i did this with) are great. To get there you go to Iquitos, take a boat for 2 hours, then hike way into the jungle. No running water, electricity or flushing toilets, but they’ve got a great set up so you don’t really feel like you are roughing it for 12 days. You have a little cabin in the jungle (tambo) that is very basic but nice. When you are not drinking the Ayahuasca (called a Ceremony) you are meditating, sleeping, reading, chilling out. The shamen from the Shipibo tribe are there on your ceremonies and chant to you while your tripping, and are working at taking all the negative energy out of you. Not for the faint at heart…..there is a lot of throwing up (they consider it a purging of negative energy), spitting, crapping your pants sometimes, crying, and a bit of moaning. And you are doing this with 20 other people who are there to go through the same thing you are. Lots of bonding going on. Okay, so far doesn’t sound good but it is. You come out lighter, calmer, and grateful. And you are doing all of this in the middle of the Amazon jungle where it is hot and humid as hell. At night the sound of the frogs, monkeys, and insects is deafening in a really beautiful way. The rain is thunderous and blows you off your feet but there is nothing cooler than lying in your tambo at night and feeling the power of the rain blasting around you. If you want to know more, go to templeofthewayoflight.org. It is a mesmerizing journey and i would recommend that every adult do this once in their lives. It is terrifying, amazing, intense, and awe-inspiring, all at the same time.

So, i’m back on planet earth now. Finally the weather in Vancouver is looking up. Past two days have been beautiful and sunny. Now we just need a little heat. Working on a little vegetable garden and shit are they hard work! I feel old. Gardened all day and it’s nowhere near ready, and my back and legs are killing me. Going to put the seeds in soon and grow me some salad! Gardens are great. Meditative.

Have an audition tomorrow so i’d better go here but wanted to update on the trip.

Talk to you soon.



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17 Responses to wild ride!

  1. Marie says:

    Glad you are back safe and sound. Does the stuff you drank completely leave your system or do you need to worry about hellusinations later on?

  2. Chrisie says:

    Wow Sam! I don’t know how you did it. Well since I’ve met you I ‘know’ how you did it your one tough broad! I’d never make it! LOL Glad it was such a positive experience for you!

  3. Carolyn White says:

    Thanks for sharing the experience – the good as well as the yucky! Makes me wish I could try this, too, altho I’m smart enuf to realize I don’t have the funds for it and my job would not appreciate me bailing for a lengthy period of time to do this. Glad you didn’t get bitten by a rabid monkey or decide to stay there.
    Good luck on the audition, hope you get it if you find it interesting. Can’t wait to see you on TV or a movie again. Although, if I had a say in it, you’d be back on Supernatural – darn those writers! But, they gave you one helluva ending, didn’t they?

  4. Liz Curry says:

    Hi Sam

    Sounds like an amazing journey you went on… I wonder if these shamens do house calls so you have hot water and fluffy towels at hand incase you poop your pants lol.

    Thanks for sharing … Liz

  5. Annie says:

    Wow Sam!
    It sounds very interesting to say the least. At least it helped you rid of negative things in your life; for sure we all have them. Glad you are back. It sounds like it cleared out a lot of these things you wanted out of your life, or just to ‘let it go’ through all of the hallucinating. Well gardening is fun; it’s very meditating and back breaking but very worth the effort. Good Luck tomorrow on the audition; you deserve great roles; you are a truly great actress of our times and we need more out there like you.
    Best wishes,

  6. Samantha Jane says:

    Wow that sounds totally amazing and freaky at the same time!!! I’m glad you had a good time. I’ve been reading your blogs for a while but this is my first comment. I find you absolutely fascinating and this just confirmed that. The fact that you are willing to go on such a wild ride is astounding!! And I admire your bravery.

    Good luck on your audition!!!


  7. Hey Sam. I’m glad you had an eventfull trip…in many ways. Welcome back to Planet Earth. Did ya bring me sumthin’ pretty?
    Anyway, your experience must have been overwhelming and I hope it helped you achieve some understanding. I know how difficult letting the bad stuff go can be. Seems like it’s just easier to hang on to. Why are we so willing to make room for the negative stuff but not for the positive? Maybe, life can make more sense for you from now on. I really hope so, Sam. By the way, who were you in your past life? An actress?

  8. Julie says:

    Really interesting, glad you `enjoyed` it and can feel benefits from your experiences. I have to say though it sounds bloody scary to me! Is it medically supervised? What happens if you have a bad reactions to the vine? Like Mick Jagger famously said letting yourdelf go is fine as long as you can get yourself back, I think you are very brave. I`m a wuz and would be terrified!

  9. Jake says:

    Wow, sounds intense and… well, you said it in the title: a wild ride. Thanks for sharing the experience. Can’t even begin to imagine what it must have been luck to live it.
    Good luck with the audition; hope to see you on the screen (be it the small one or the big one) again some time in the near future.


  10. BKP says:

    Did someone recommend that you go? Did they make you sign a waiver?
    I’m hoping you continue to receive the little ‘gifts’ the experience offered you and that you maintain the peace. I have always believed that we are responsible for hanging onto those demons from the past that drag us down, and to learn of a way to rid the mind of them is…just stunning!!

  11. Cherylyn says:

    Life takes you a lot of places, but the journeys that turn inside are generally the most interesting and challenging of all – good on you for seeking a ‘trip’ like that out. There will probably be ongoing aftershocks of the experience for awhile for you to delve into and explore. Enjoy them!

    I hope your aches and pains from gardening pass soon and you enjoy your garden plot: I know that nothing tastes as good as the salads I pick out of the beds in my own back yard (I suspect that all the early morning watering and late evening weeding add a certain amount of ‘natural flavor enhancing’ to the taste). *grin*


  13. Wrong Autocorrect says:

    That happened to me at a Grateful Dead show once.

  14. Trik_Ster says:

    Dear Sam
    Thank you for the insightful access to your inner journey
    But much more importantly Thank You! for the *Tease Sam Material!*

    Right now I’m listening to Can’t Be Wrong by the Spin Doctors
    And every time they sing Little Miss Can’t be Wrong
    I mentally chang it to…
    Little Miss Poopy Pants

    Love Ya

  15. Amber says:

    I read ‘Sting’s’ memior “Broken Music” a few years ago. The book began with him taking, what sounds like, the same ‘trip’ as you took. Makes me want to read his book again. Good luck with your garden. 🙂

  16. SLM says:

    I am late reading this…but I’m glad you didn’t get eaten by a wild jungle cat! Also, glad you didn’t come back looking like Raquel Welch. You are GORGEOUS, woman! Sounds like you had such an invigorating experience. Everyone needs something like that in their lifetime. Thanks for sharing. You seem so down to earth and hilarious! If I lived in Vancouver, I’d say let’s do lunch 🙂
    Thanks for being so kind to your fans! xoxo

  17. Emily says:

    Well, I guess I will be heading to Peru the next time I have a few weeks off. I have been trying to get rid of my demons for years, I would gladly shit them out. I was just browsing the web looking for maternal advice and I thought of Ellen. I wish I had a mom like her! So I googled you. Low and behold, you offered the very solution I have been looking for; a wild foreign trip into the jungle to get high! I have to say your advice was probably more satisfactory than anything a mother would have offered anyway. Hopefully after a trip through the jungle, I will no longer wish I was raised by fictional characters.
    Also, I loved the 4400. Nobody ever gives that show enough credit.

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