I have never been shy about my interest in “finding my way”. I am always babbling on about the metaphysical world and that we have a say in our happiness and peace; I do believe that we are in charge of our own state of being and contentedness. I’d love to blame my unrest and insecurities on my past and parents (God knows they did a rather lousy job), but the truth is, once you become an adult (18?), you really are in charge of your own destiny; Mental, physical, financial, and emotional.
I have, and will always be, in search of a deeper meaning in life. Why do we do the things we do? What crap have we got going on that stops us from finding inner happiness and peace?..and it ain’t that Coach bag, which I thought would work. Trust me, I tried. I adore mine, but it hasn’t done the trick in helping me be ok with who I am.
Some people are naturally at peace. I wish I was one of them…oh GAWD I wish I was one of them, but I’m not. I have a friend who is perfectly content with her life, her work, and who she is. She doesn’t question negative feelings because she doesn’t have them (?). She doesn’t feel any shame or guilt, nor does she have any regrets, insecurities, or self esteem issues. The woman sleeps well every night of her life completely fine with who she is, and never questions any decision she’s made, nor regrets any action she has taken. REALLY?! Sometimes I’d like to tell her to eff off out of sheer envy, but that is just her path. She’s here to live a chilled life with no burning questions or hang-ups. Ugh. Bitch.
The reason I say all this, is because I’m going to share with you a few journeys. I’m always on them (remember the Ayahuasca retreat? No? read back), because I have a yearning to understand myself. My soul. What makes me tick. Like 94% of the human population, I have uncomfortable parts of who I am…my history…why I’ve done the things I have. There are some parts of my story that give me great guilt and regret. I have not always been the person my cats thought I was. I’d certainly like to know why, but more importantly, I’d like to change some of the cruddier habits and beliefs, and head towards that peace and happiness that my friend seems to enjoy daily.
The task at hand: Tapping. Ever heard of it? I believe years ago it came out as something called Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT). The concept is the same: There are certain points (meridians) of the body that, when tapped upon, can release stress, negative feelings, and limiting beliefs. Sounds great, doesn’t it? I have heard of great success and freedom with said tapping. I’m rather excited.
So, I have signed up for a 7-week on-line course through a guy named Nick Ortner. Something about tapping your way to financial success. Don’t get me wrong, I am all about the financial aspect, but I am more interested in the nitty-gritty. Tapping really focuses in on all the ‘stuff’ that holds you back. I’d like to go to the really deep stuff that can answer a few questions for me that my regular ole memory and consciousness can’t seem to access.
I’m a week behind (horrible student), but it is a self paced thing, and I plan to catch up this week. I will update. I’ll try not to be as long-winded and drawn out as this diatribe. Promise.
Until then, lovelies.